“Oggi la gente pensa solo a divertirsi!” Questa frase spesso compare sulle labbra di persone infelici, lacerate interiormente, consumate dalla rabbia e fondamentalmente invidiose, perché divenute incapaci di divertirsi dopo anni ed anni di allenamento. Questa frase può avere versioni intellettualizzate come quella di un “pastore d’anime” che disprezza i gaudenti che non odiano la vita come lui, soprattutto quando giura di “amarla”. Più spesso ha versioni rozze, come quelle delle persone anziane e inacidite che vorrebbero piegare i giovani al culto del lavoro e dei sacrifici.
Il disprezzo per il divertimento, il gioco, il piacere sessuale, l’ozio [cfr. il POST job, leisure time and lived ] and the "excessive" or "sentimental" expressions of affection [cf. POST Cuddles and boats ] slowly develops from childhood. People "seriously ill" begin, like all people, to seek pleasure and childhood fun, but face stern gaze of parents who do not enjoy it anymore and feel an allergic reaction to the vitality of the children, too much like what they have buried. For this reason, and not for the sake of culture, utter strange commands by which you must do your homework and do not it should be "only" play. By a kind of inner tiredness and not a "metaphysical shock" to deny children their complicity in the events play. They want their children "quiet" and the children begin to split internally between the need to play, to idle, seek pampering and the need to be approved. While tracing this line in their blood, children diminish their vitality and begin to despise their friends who show an exuberance that have partially erased, are already preparing to become parents are able to deny care and love to their children.
There is a poignant beauty in the manifestations of playful spontaneity animals, children, lovers. A beauty that one misses most when there is "armored" to stop feeling lonely and rejected. A beauty that remains, however, that even though despised and sometimes even the most rigid recognize, at least in certain areas. We are lovers of the conflict or discipline or work they can see the beauty of wild nature, at least in documentaries. Then, at the end of the program are tied seat belt. Flashes of vitality, playfulness, taste for harmony and beauty continue to light up the night of interpersonal relationships death or dying. This fact saves humanity from total madness, but will not protect from "Falling Down". The speech
done so far is not complete, however, if we neglect the forms of entertainment that have the flavor of a waiver and not felt a freedom. Forms of "ritual" of (pseudo) fun at first sight can be difficult to distinguish from those spontaneous and creative. The passion for the women of "inveterate deceivers" (like the character in the film by Truffaut, beautiful and devastating, The Man Who Loved Women ), as well as the idolatry of the "team of the heart" of many men who "play" only on TV or (viewers) to the stadium, have a bitter taste. The need to "travel" of people absolutely indifferent to the countries and peoples who routinely observed by tourists is a need to "escape" from something and not a desire to "participate" in something. The cult of youth (and dependence on beauty products) has a strange taste when it is expressed by women (and, increasingly, also by men) who have never had sex with pleasure and love, and then exhibited the their beauty for the sake of "acceptance" or "statement". There is therefore a widespread search of fun "that does not make fun, but" stunning ", which has no respect for the person as an end, but the dullness of consciousness.
The fun is sometimes an aspect of our spontaneity [cf. POST Spontaneously ] and other times a shiny bolt, but solid, imprisoning. This second aspect, coercive and (auto) repression of the trend is widespread in the fun and right on his presence leverages the "consumer society".
The film by Gary Ross Pleasantville shows so delicate and incisive as the established order (social and family) foods and the rituals of control, both evasion while crushing the pleasure and the pursuit of pleasure people. It also shows that the world is not divided between good and bad, but we can all be "bad" about ourselves (and others) feel if we give up. To feel emotions. To feel all the emotions.
The idea that fun can be a manifestation of freedom, but also of repression, is not so strange, since all our expression is characterized primarily for the purpose of the guidelines. You may want to have a child with a partner to broaden the scope of intimacy and sharing of experiences, or you may wish to have a child to "make sense" of a report that does not confer any meaning, or to give meaning to his life perceived as "empty".
Proponents of "fun at all costs" and moralists who despise those "fun only" have in common the tendency to live "shortly." The first avoid using emotional entertainment aimed at "killing time" and the latter avoids emotional involvement in the most tedious ways (and only for their resignation to the gray surface exchange hedonism of other people for a real form of pleasure-seeking ). In reality people superficially "hedonism" and have those boring long since ceased to laugh and cry. Those set up for (pseudo) entertainment merely to keep busy while feeling little, while others feel they have to control dangerous impulses because they are already polluted by the destructiveness and prefer to deal with "heavy stuff". At the root of both attitudes is the tragedy of a lack of respect for him that has its roots in childhood [cf. POST Puppies human ].
What happens if individual growth is not crushed, belittled or prevented by their parents? Children continue to look for two things: the love (especially parents) and entertainment. The manifestations of the affection of parents to decline in several ways: first by physical contact, then with the attention and abetting in the "discovery of the world carried out daily by the children with new shades.
The fun continues even if it acquires new complexities: the pleasure of a teddy bear to keep close to the pleasure of doing role-plays, first with his parents and then with other children. The need for emotional contact and to play physical and do not exclude the possibility of learning new things, because the development of curiosity goes hand in hand with the emotional development. The task of educators is to nurture children's curiosity and channel it into appropriate forms of learning and is not to disqualify the needs of affetto e di gioco per imporre la disciplina e la conoscenza.
I bisogni di coccole e di divertimento, con la crescita mantengono tutta la loro importanza diventando desideri (in parte sessualizzati) adulti. L’esperienza del vivere trasforma però i desideri elementari, senza bisogno di repressione, in desideri più complessi. Se il dolore viene elaborato (inizialmente con il sostegno dei genitori) e non escluso dalla coscienza, i desideri elementari acquisiscono una profondità che non potevano avere nei primi anni. Gradualmente i bambini ed i ragazzi cominciano a trattare gli altri come soggetti e non come oggetti.
Questo sviluppo spontaneo e non la passiva assimilazione di doveri imposti sta alla base dei comportamenti ethically significant. Growing up, children continue to seek the fun and contact, but also learn to know each other, turning in on oneself, to converse with oneself. Gradually, being desirous of pleasant experiences, if they are accepted and supported by their parents at times painful, they learn to care and compassion for themselves and to form the idea of \u200b\u200bbeing delicate and precious ... and also learn to respect others. If, however, are ignored or humiliated or indoctrinated, they learn to dissociate themselves from the pain and tend to neglect their own emotions ... and those of others. Empathy develops spontaneously in an atmosphere of acceptance and respect and attention to others and produces a capacity to treat them as subjects and not simply as objects.
This process (and not hampered by instances favorite "educational" type moralistic) takes the kids to grow up with a keen sensitivity to others and also takes the kids to become interested in things that are not immediately funny, but equally important. The bases of interest in creative expression more complex than just games and forms of engagement that do not produce pleasure "immediate" result from this development. Certainly not eliminate the desire for emotional contact and fun, but give "depth" to the interpersonal experiences. Only in this way children can become adults capable of both great to have a good time, and energy to devote to others selflessly. E capaci sia di ricevere che di dare affetto e comprensione.
Fuori da questo sviluppo lineare i comportamenti sociali costruttivi e moralmente validi derivano nei bambini (e nei bambini divenuti ormai adulti) solo dalla paura di essere considerati "egoisti" o "superficiali" e non da una genuina "apertura" nei confronti degli altri, della realtà e della società. [Cfr. il POST Alexander Neill e la scuola di Summerhill ]. Per questo motivo il divertimento nelle persone cresciute con poco affetto finisce per essere "poco divertente": è cercato come compensazione ad una vita poco vissuta o è addirittura negato in nome di doveri e tragedie rassicuranti.
Gianfranco
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